Don’t Dance on My Grave!

Plantations Are Not Party Venues, but Sacred, Historical Grounds.

Photo Property of Nuru House

If any one of the enslaved men, women and children brought over to America were afforded the basic respect of formal burials, then perhaps I wouldn’t have a blog post for today at all. However, since far too many were thrown face down into unmarked holes in the ground, I find myself standing firmly behind the line of outrage with today’s piece.

Understand, these were not traditional graves, but hollows home to despair,

“Here lie the bodies of tortured, mutilated and murdered slaves - evidence for most treacherous behaviours of mankind”…

So then, it’s any wonder why people remain committed to embracing life in locations whose air is so thick with the stench of horror, though once again, I must say I’m not in the least bit surprised.

The habit of purchasing or utilising ‘labour estates’ has been far too well documented amongst the white and privileged in the U.S., where celebrities like Reese Witherspoon, Justin Bieber, and Blake Lively who, despite considerable resources that would allow them to party just about anywhere, continue to celebrate the next phases of their lives on the same soil that saw the suffering and death of so many.

The Lively-Reynolds’ have faced ongoing criticism for choosing Boone Hall Plantation in South Carolina—an active wedding venue with a history rooted in slavery—as the site of their 2012 wedding. This plantation comes complete with slave quarters that line the driveway through the entrance, a source of pride for the slave master once residing there. The couple, who reportedly ‘discovered the venue on Pinterest’, later expressed regret for their decision, conveniently amid discourse surrounding the U.S’ history with slavery during the resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement in 2020. After issuing a public apology, donating $200,000 to the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, and acknowledging their past ignorance about systemic racism, Ryan Reynolds called the wedding a “giant mistake” and emphasized their commitment to ongoing learning and accountability. Nevertheless, many of us remain horrified at the decision to get married on Boone Hall Plantation in the first place, particularly given the level of transparency exhibited by it’s website regarding it’s history. Whether their decision was led by oversight as they claim, or whether claiming ignorance was used as damage control, the lack of protection over old plantations like these is what allows this kind of disrespect to continue.

Slave Quarters, Boone Hall plantation, circa 1687, Charleston, South Carolina

If it were only the white and wealthy that contributed to this phenomenon, then perhaps we could argue that it was white privilege that led Blake Lively and Reynolds or Justin and Hailey Bieber; that their lack of respect was of course informed by their whiteness as has been observed over and over again, and there is clearly a plausible argument here. Ben Affleck, who held his own wedding at his home (a replica of a plantation house), is representative of where one of the only distinct features of ‘white culture’ in the West is a celebration of white supremacy. But then this begs the question as to why we see black people and other people of colour mimicking that same behaviour, the same sheer disregard.

For those who have yet to see the discourse, influencer couple Monet McMicheal and Jalen Noble have sparked widespread discussion surrounding the treatment owed to historic slave sites after they purchased land that many speculate saw the mistreatment of slaves in the past.

Under the caption for a video on Jalen’s page showing their ‘guest house’, he writes ‘175 years old! I’d say it’s a pretty unique guest house’, sidestepping the topic altogether. The couple bought their ‘175 year old’ home back in January, but Monet’s recent flaunting of their newly built in ‘at home gym’, located in what looks like a building from the time it was originally used has re-ignited the conversation. Why she would continue to post the house, without denying claims like this whilst knowing the level of disrespect felt by the community is beyond me, but then there are those that feel that if the claims are true, that this isn’t a display of disrespect at all, but a win for the black community.

Most of the defences I’ve seen written for the couple are in favour of other black people purchasing the land in the place of white people who continue to do so. In their minds, reclaiming enslaved land just like black people have reclaimed a number of other tools used to oppress them serves some kind of justice, and on the very surface, at the shallowest level, they might be right. But if we begin to pick this apart ever-so-slightly, it's easy to see how it’s far from that simple. To you, reading today’s piece who may or may not still be toying with the debate in your own head now, I ask you to consider whether you would be comfortable seeing your family plot or gravesite play host to an onslaught of unrelated persons in the future for whatever reason at all. How would you feel if they began to use the space to hold their parties, rejoicing on top of the bodies of your loved ones as if they were never there? Assuming you’d be rightfully enraged, imagine your dead (may they rest in peace), had died in the most brutal, inhumane manner and yet were just as easily discarded. If we entertain the speculative claims made by the public, and Monet and Jalen happened to be decendents of those enslaved on their land, this would be a different conversation entirely. But if the rumours are true, and they were living on a plantation that doesn’t belong to their lineage, then the practice would be disrespectful regardless of but especially considering the context.

From the film "Descendant"

In an article written by the National trust for historic preservation entitled, “Reconsidering Celebrations at Sites of Enslavement”, the organisation is actively rethinking how former slave plantations and other historic sites tied to slavery are used, particularly for celebratory events like weddings. The shift was prompted by growing public criticism, especially from advocacy groups like Color of Change, who have long opposed the romanticization of plantations—spaces marked by violence, forced labor, and generational trauma. In turn, the Trust hosted the Plantation Weddings Symposium in 2020 and launched Reconsidering Celebrations at Sites of Enslavement, a series aimed at exploring ethical stewardship, inclusive interpretation, and respectful use of these sites.

Historically, many plantation museums and historic homes have erased or minimized the lives and labor of enslaved people, often focusing instead on elite white narratives and the aesthetics of the era. Despite being central to American history, slavery has frequently been excluded from public interpretation or relegated to superficial mentions. But where we should continue to investigate its horrors, the Trust acknowledges that its own sites—11 of which are directly tied to enslavement—have not always told the full story. Now, it’s working to center Black voices and experiences, share stories of resistance and guide other institutions in grappling with similar legacies.

Alongside other protected heritage sites, former plantations align with the definition determining sites with the rights to conservation as being “Areas of special architectural or historic interest, the character or appearance of which it is desirable to preserve or enhance”.

As such, when we find ourselves asking why former plantations aren’t afforded the same protections as other ‘historic sites’, we know it isn’t because they don’t qualify. Now, we’re forced to look elsewhere, to other plausible explanations as to why they aren't preserved.

Unfortunately, the most painfully obvious explanation asks that we remember that just as the bodies of enslaved Africans were used and discarded, their memories would be too. In essence, it makes no difference to some to further disrespect the lives of those who were never deemed as valuable in the first place and thus, the exploitation of the black body continues. Where this exploitation has adapted itself over time, we find that even black or in this case partially black members of the community are willing to assimilate into the culture that is disregarding black pain.

To me though, it takes a new level of detachment to find yourself putting down roots on slave sites in a way deeper than the surface level detachment almost necessarily displayed by wealthy celebrities and influencers now. Regardless of what you believe, (the specific face your God or gods wear), it can’t be a good idea to start your lives or hold grand weddings or parties on sites steeped in blood, pain, suffering and death.

To many of us, this seems the perfect recipe for the creation of some kind of karmic or spiritual debt to the mistreated. But curse or no curse, the guilt that should come with these kinds of celebrations should be enough to haunt anybody.

From these instances of disrespect we can see where the erasure of history goes beyond simply rewriting history books, but can be seen in how we treat the places that represent or serve as remembrance to marginalised and enslaved communities. The hope is, the longer we tread over hallowed ground, the easier it will become to forget their lives, and more importantly, the easier it will become to forget the atrocities that caused them to suffer. Still, as toasts are raised above the final resting places of the enslaved and brutally mistreated, let us not mistake silence for peace, or celebration for healing. What you may have forgotten, the earth most likely never will.

Asisa